SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY FUCKED UP AND MENTALLY SCARRING NIGHT
i'm sitting here, talking to my old bud renard. out of the blue they come up with the idea of googling "dildo cactus". basically for shits and giggles. apparently "dildo cactus" is an actual thing, a cactus, that looks like a dick. yeah, that's kinda cool. BUT THIS ISN'T WHAT FUCKED US UP.
WE MADE THE POOR, OH SO POOR DESICION OF GOING INTO IMAGES, YES. CACTUS DICKS, EVERYWHERE. BUT WAIT!!! ONE OF THESE THINGS ISN'T LIKE THE OTHERS! IN THE CORNER!!! IT'S A REDHEAD??? WHY IS SHE FULL ON RIDING A CACTUS?!!!?!? WHY IS IT?!?!????? SHE IS FUCKING A GODDAMN CACTUS.
in total shock of the horror before me, i fell over, curling up in a trembling ball of terror and question.
friends, never google image search "dildo cactus".